I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i now understand why vodka
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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