Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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