Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
