Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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