I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just want to make out with him forever
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
