haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
