I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
