There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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