I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
