i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
