I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You need Xanax blowdarts
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
