Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
