Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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