the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
