Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She just used a chaser for red wine.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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