Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
