i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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