I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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