thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
