hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
