Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
