just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
