ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
