god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
