ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
