her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
