yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
