It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
