I'm really into asian looking animals
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
