sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i wish my penis had a tongue
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
