wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
