I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
