Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
