I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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