Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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