Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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