jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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