Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
