Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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