No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you inspire me to be a worse person
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
