It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I want to fling myself into the sun
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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