Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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