How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We're like a lot better than the average bears
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
