$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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