Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
