I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
