nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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