Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
did i tell you guys i finally 69ād for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
