You work out of a Hotel?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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