We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
