she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
