I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
