I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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