Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
