Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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