If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Drake has all the answers
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
