oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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