I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
