chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
