Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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