someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
