I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
