Can i not drive my cunt home
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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