scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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