Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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