Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
