I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
