FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
