I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
