Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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