I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Randomize
