she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize